Why I Am An Idiot

The reasons as to how and why I am an idiot:

I daydream too much.

I create these fantasy scenarios. Not completely unrealistic, but I know as soon as I think them up, shit’s going to hit the fan.

It’s my life. It always happens.

The best things come to me spontaneously. They come when I don’t plan for them to.

It reaffirms my belief to stop hoping. Stop wishing for things.

That’s horrible.

I had a perfect date tonight to my formal.

He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s nice and I wanted to get to know him.

But I was at that stupid stage of not really drunk/drunk enough to be too awkward to function.

I couldn’t keep a conversation. Another girl swooped in.

Well, at least he’s happy.

What’s worse is I was comforted walking home that I just had to wait a few minutes to get to my blade.

I didn’t cut. I haven’t cut in quite sometime.

This is why I’m unsuitable. 

This is why I should stop wishing for love.

The fact that one… I don’t even know what to call this date thing created tears is ridiculous. 

My life is horrible.

I live each day wondering if I feel like I’ll survive the next.

It’s like trees trying to pollinate on concrete. 

That is the most accurate representation of my life at the moment.

And why I feel like an idiot.

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