The reasons as to how and why I am an idiot:
I daydream too much.
I create these fantasy scenarios. Not completely unrealistic, but I know as soon as I think them up, shit’s going to hit the fan.
It’s my life. It always happens.
The best things come to me spontaneously. They come when I don’t plan for them to.
It reaffirms my belief to stop hoping. Stop wishing for things.
I had a perfect date tonight to my formal.
He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s nice and I wanted to get to know him.
But I was at that stupid stage of not really drunk/drunk enough to be too awkward to function.
I couldn’t keep a conversation. Another girl swooped in.
Well, at least he’s happy.
What’s worse is I was comforted walking home that I just had to wait a few minutes to get to my blade.
I didn’t cut. I haven’t cut in quite sometime.
This is why I’m unsuitable.
This is why I should stop wishing for love.
The fact that one… I don’t even know what to call this date thing created tears is ridiculous.
My life is horrible.
I live each day wondering if I feel like I’ll survive the next.
It’s like trees trying to pollinate on concrete.
That is the most accurate representation of my life at the moment.
And why I feel like an idiot.