I’m exhausted in so many ways.

Today was nice though. I had the day off both jobs, so I got my hair cut. Also bought some dresses and a pair of shorts. 

I have yet to buy a postcard for Calvin though. He sent me mine today. Or tomorrow. I’m not entirely sure how you’re supposed to look at that. The whole he’s 13-hours ahead thing really screws up a lot.

But I’m still recovering from the lack of sleep I let happen last week. I was practically consuming caffeine intravenously for 5 days. 

I don’t consume caffeine often. 

That was not a particularly good weekend.

My mood was all over the place. I would go from being perfectly content and relaxed to nervous and jittery to down and angst-y. It was not enjoyable to say in the least.

It was difficult to not let triggers get the best of me. It was also difficult to eat.

Granted, the past couple of days, that’s all I have been doing.

I’m very tired of all of this… inconsistency in my life.

I’m also very anxious about my future cat. I’m worried about not having enough money to support it, getting caught, and not giving it enough time. I know I won’t be working all that often in the fall and that my evenings will be devoted to that furry critter, but I tend to over-think things and fret over things I know I can do.

I know this cat will be a saving grace in a lot of ways. I know that I will be a loving and responsible caretaker. I know this cat will be difficult.

I know that I’m willing to make sacrifices in order to have this creature in my life.

All of my plasma donation money will go towards this cat. Money for play things, vet visits, and maintenance – all from that. I’m more than willing to do that. 

I’m so damned tired right now.

I had the day off.

What on earth…?

But for now, the world is turning quickly. My summer is starting to evaporate and I have a lot I want to do.


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