The Letters: Part 1

My sister and I received 11 letters to read from friends and family.

Wow. That sounds like a lot more than I originally thought I had. 

Some of them made me laugh. Some annoyed me. Some nearly made me cry.

I didn’t cry, but I should have.

Out of those 11, 6 talked about her faith.

That is pretty controversial to me.

For some, that was all they talked about (hence my annoyance.) Some mentioned it in passing. Some put it beautifully. So beautifully it made me question why I left my faith life behind me.

Calvin is currently slurping ramen down. It’s rather distracting.

Many of the letters said how proud our mother would be of us.

Right after I read that the first time, my sister then proceeded to call me… I think it was a “fucking cunt bagger”. Then she swore at the cat. And we ate chocolate cake pie.

Yup. Real proud.

I have always struggled with that though.

Everyone always says it.

So much so that the phrase has either lost its’ meaning and value or I simply don’t understand it.

The letter from my mom’s best friend almost made me cry. Just her word choice.

“Sunshine”. We were our mother’s “sunshine”.

My mom used to always sing “You Are My Sunshine” to me. Every night. I don’t remember her voice. I don’t remember it being something mind blowing, but it was definitely sweet and pretty.

I’m sure a lot of mothers sing that song though.

That whole “stupidly sentimental” thing happens a lot to me.

The two most heartfelt ones were from two of my uncles.

Two of my favorite uncles to be exact. 

Two of my favorite uncles for a very, very long time.

I was an instinctually good kid.

Damn.

They were touching. Not necessarily tear-jerking, but… warm. They made me feel peace.

Something I crave for I don’t feel it often.

Well, I do more now.

BESIDES THE POINT.

GOD I’M GETTING SIDE-TRACKED RIGHT NOW.

I loved Jamie’s. She was a student of my mother. So pretty and organized.

I also love my Aunt Kathy. Her husband… one of my mom’s brothers… eh…

But my Aunt Kathy. Bless her. She’s just the kindest.

This side of the family is all about favorites though.

I understand a lot about myself though.

And… I just can’t process things right now.

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