Speculation: Part 1

At times, I’m still shocked by the world around me.

Actually, make that all the time.

I realized that today was the day of my mother’s funeral 10-years ago. Who would have known, 10 years down the road, I’d be in that same church converted into recital hall, listening to some incredible saxophone music?

Am I sorry?

Not really.

But in ways, yes I am.

In my therapy session today, I talked with my therapist about my mom and the whole “proud” thing.

Mostly, it made me speculate what kind of person I would be with her still here.

I don’t really doubt at this time that she would be proud of me and the person I am today.

I just can’t help but be wishful of the person I could have been.

Who knows? Maybe had she not passed, some things would have stayed the same. I’d probably still like the music I like and listen to. I’d still like the colors I like. Who knows how much her influence would have had on my political opinions.

If there’s one thing I wish she would have passed on to me, it would be her drive.

Because damn, if it’s one thing that woman knew how to do, it was to go for her dreams and never stop until she reached them.

To be continued…. It’s Calvin Time.

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