Accidents

Today, I accidentally missed work again.

I have been under much duress and anxiety for some unknown reason.

Due to this, I have decided to take a hiatus from work. I will make it official tomorrow and sit down with my manager to do so. 

I do like my job a lot and I desperately want to continue to work there. I believe I could have lost my job today had it not been for some very fortunate friends I have made there.

My family really shined through today for me. Mostly my dad. We begun to have a better understanding for what I need from him and the relationship we should have. It’s been a great blessing.

I slept most of today. I’m already tired. 

I feel very down and upset. I know I look it too. 

Honestly, I want to curl up with a cup of tea, watch a movie, then sleep. 

Will that probably happen? No.

Does it sadden me that it could but the likelihood of it actually happening is slim? Yes.

I should have added that I’m scared to sleep in my own bed right now due to a need to fully clean my room for bed bugs. Yeah. Gross.

My bed-mate for the bowl trip has confided in the rest of our roommates for said trip that she has bed bugs and that we are advised to do a deep clean of our bedrooms and clothes as it is believed that the time of infestation was due to our travels to Florida.

That’s terrifying.

It also could explain the rash I’ve had on my stomach since winter break. 

But today was a mess and I didn’t have time but I also told Calvin I wanted the night off which isn’t true now but it is it’s just I don’t want to sleep in my own bed and damn why didn’t I just go home-home?

Ugh.

I’m just all sorts of upset and not finding enough time to deal with it.

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