Not Legal

And people question why I don’t drink as much anymore.

I have a week until I’m 21 and already I regret my drinking experiences.

I act foolishly. That’s what drunk people do.

Alcohol enhances feelings. It amplifies emotions. Maybe you don’t get this because you’ve never been drunk.

I’ve had my share of drunken shenanigans. I’ve had my share of drunken tears.

I don’t want to fight again. We’ve already had a big fight this week. It’s fair to say now that we are well over the “honeymoon phase”.

Maybe it’s because you’re stressed. Maybe it’s because I’m sensitive. We are lacking our usual cautiousness and paying dearly for our inattentiveness.

I’m just tired of doing the same damn thing. I need variety. I wanted to get a little drunk tonight and I did. Now I feel bad for it.

I always end up regretting it no matter what I do. I usually regret it because of you.

What’s it going to be like next year when I’m 21 and you’re not here? Am I going to be dissatisfied because I’ll feel guilty for enjoying myself? This is a question that has been on my mind since we started dating. I’ve never dated a guy who I felt would be comfortable going out to the bars with me or just having a drink just because they enjoyed it and I’ve come to realize that’s important to me. I enjoy alcohol. I do. It’s not a crime (well, technically it is…) but I feel like you judge me.

Ugh. We’ve had this talk before. Whyyyyyy????

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