No Use Crying

I took a test today and failed it I think.

It wasn’t a final exam for school. But I’m pretty sure it was just as important.

I hate being an outsider. It’s exhausting. Having a multi-lingual boyfriend with multi-lingual friends can be awkward.

Don’t get me wrong, I love that he has that ability. Just had I known what I was getting myself into beforehand, I would have thought twice.

I still don’t really know why I agreed. It wasn’t really presented to me as a choice though.

Calvin had this dinner planned out with friends from Hong Kong and Taiwan I believe. Mostly speaking Mandarin Chinese, some Cantonese. I made other plans to get dinner with some kids before they went home for the summer, so it wasn’t like I was upset about it or anything. But he asked his friends if I could come, so I did. Of course, while there, it was beyond awkward. I was just standing there listening to them speak a language I didn’t know a word to. It’s cool, but intimidating and not very enjoyable. I also have to work at 6:00 AM tomorrow morning and wasn’t in the greatest of moods. My shower stuff is at his place though so this entire situation is not ideal.

I’m just a load of upset right now. I’m uncomfortable, upset, sad, and urggggg.

It doesn’t help that he’ll be gone from Monday until June 10th then he leaves for Hong Kong on the 15th. I don’t get much of him anymore.

But life keeps going and it’s not going to stop.

No use crying about it. But it’s too late for that because I already am.


One thought on “No Use Crying

  1. You sound like a positive attitude and can see the bright light, it’s okay to cry as long as you know these feelings won’t last! I just wrote a post in hopes to do my part in ending the stigma in mental health if you’re interested, it’s not an easy thing to deal with.

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