This is a grind.

Today, I’m feeling insignificant.

I look around at what the people I know have accomplished. I see expanding travels. I see budding careers. I see a lot of things.

I guess I’m just feeling a little lost today.

I was just saying yesterday how I really needed to see Lisa. Well, I saw her today. I just felt like it was a bit of a wasted session.

I mean, I felt like I was just repeating things I had spoken about in previous sessions. Getting the same feedback. I was just very tired and hungry when I went in.

I don’t know.

All I know right now is that I’m back at my dad’s house and I just want to be back at my apartment with my overly-snuggly cat trying to lick my face reading a good book. I did talk to Lisa about this a bit though.

Mostly how coming home for an extended period of time is weird for me. I haven’t lived at home since before I graduated high school.

My mood is just very down today and I got a bit snippy with my stepmom.

I literally cannot stand watching movies or TV with them.

Antagonists find group of protagonists in a special location. My stepmom: “I wonder how they found out where they were?” Me: “I bet that bitch Hollywood told them where they were to spice up the action a bit. She’s such a diva.”

I got some disapproving looks from my dad.

Yeah… it’s time for me to go back to college town.

Honestly, I think the comment went over her head.

I then apologized and tried to laugh it off. Pam didn’t really understand what had just happened.

I just don’t understand why people ask rhetorical questions or speculate out loud. Is it necessary? If you don’t want an answer, don’t ask…

I’m just tired today. I think it’s time for me to envelop myself in some other reality for a while before I succumb to sleep. Then tomorrow: hit the road, go home, do something fucking productive, maybe…

This is a grind.


2 thoughts on “This is a grind.

  1. This is the place that I am in in my life. I look around and see so many great things happening to people and think ‘well what am I doing wrong and why aren’t great things happening to me.”

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