I haven’t been this upset in quite some time.

Can’t say I missed it.

This day has been squandered. Calvin and I are in the middle of a massive fight. I’m just done.

I’m done with this.

I’m done with being the bad person. I’m done with always being sad. I’m done questioning if I’m wanted all the time. I’m done putting out so much and not getting anything back in return. I’m done being the first one to give in. I’m done giving up.

I’m simply ending it.

I’m done always worrying about my mental health. It isn’t there. It’s not okay.

I’m not okay.

And I’m done pretending that I am for the sake of others.

I’m done being taken for granted.

I’ve always hated selfishness.

But I’m fucking done.

I can’t keep functioning. Today, I’ve had the first serious suicidal thoughts and self-harm intent in months. That is where I draw the fucking line.

I’m done.

And If you think you haven’t a thing to do with it, think again.


2 thoughts on “Done

  1. I so can relate to that. All of it. Every word you said. But then depression is like that. It makes us give in, it makes us question both our own intent and the intent of those closest to us. It makes us a shell of who we are and leaves us doubting every one and every thing, including and most of all ourselves. Hang in there, this too shall pass…

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