Sick of Sick Worthlessness

Well, life’s been hectic.

And of course, I get sick at the most inopportune times.

So, I have a sore throat, fever, the works. Have had one for the past couple of days. Yesterday, I was super good. Drank tons of water. Didn’t talk. Took my medicine when I was supposed to. Super good. And it gets worse. Great. I know, I probably shortened whatever sickness I have by a few days, but still. I had a makeup jury today. Yeah, that didn’t happen.

It just makes me feel like people are getting tired of me. People are getting tired of my “sorry, but I’m sick” messages. The emails. It just makes me feel like a failure. Why can’t I stay healthy for one goddamned month?!

I just want to quit.

It makes me feel like a failure.

Most people go to classes and stuff when they’re sick. I don’t because I don’t want to infect others. But then I feel like people think I don’t try or care enough.

There are people telling me that it’s good that I’m taking care of myself. But because I’m sick so often, I feel like people think I can’t take care of myself. I promise I try. I take my meds. My apartment is clean save for the dirty dishes, but those have only been there for a day and a half.

I’m just feeling disconnected from humanity right now. I’ve been feeling that way all day, so I took a shower. It helped.

I’m still feeling awful.

I just don’t get what I’m doing wrong. Hell, I’ve even been taking multivitamins!

I was working out. I was starting to eat healthy.

Seriously. What am I doing wrong? My apartment is clean. I just don’t get it.

I’m gonna do some homework. Maybe that’ll make me feel a bit less worthless.