Aside

4/5/2014

I wasn’t a first choice for him. I was a second. It ended up being the longest relationship I’ve had yet.

He told me that if he had a dice, she had three sides, I had two sides, and other girl had one side.

I was okay with that though. I remember the small pang of sadness in my heart. I was okay though. It never really bothered me.

He was still in love with another girl. I was still in love with another boy. He called me out on several occasions and I did to him too. In the end, we realized it was silly for us to keep pretending. The only honest relationship I’ve been in, and it’s been the shortest.

I settled. I knew I could do better and loved him because he loved me. He was great. He was wonderful. But I wasn’t happy. I knew I could move on quickly and I did. I latched on to someone else. But I never really let go. Not really. He loved me too much and it felt too damn good.

I don’t know you.

I don’t know how to characterize this or you or anything having to do with you.

I’m scared.

I don’t know you.

I don’t know you.

I don’t know you.

I know what she did to you. And what she did to you. I vowed to never do that.

But I’m scared.

And I don’t know you.

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