The First Drink

I had this table of some pretty cute guys last night.

I mean, I don’t know. It was weird.

One of the guys there bought me a drink. Every time he’d walk by, he’d smile at me. I usually smiled back (kinda.)

I’m awful.

It was awful.

It was awesome.

And I feel like such a piece of shit.

He left me a nice tip too. Even though I was a pretty disgraceful server to them. I mean, it wasn’t horrible, but I was having an off night and ugh.

Some of us were in the back playing cards and I invited them back to play with us, but it didn’t seems they were too interested in the offer. Or the only dude that was there when I went and told them didn’t say anything and now this is awkward.

I don’t know. I’m awkward. Fucking hell.

One of our regulars was sitting with them. He was not impressed with my reaction I don’t think.

Which makes me angry, but whatever. I don’t have to justify myself to him.

Only…. I don’t know…. I just got dumped by the guy I’ve been in love with for the past 4 years less than 2 weeks ago out of no where when I thought everything was fine and we were getting ready to move in together and shit.

Yeah. I’m totally ready to take on this dating scene.

I haven’t been single and been able to legally drink. Calvin and I started dating when I was 20, so it’s not like I didn’t know how how to drink. I’ve just never really been able to “accept” strangers buying me beverages. I mean, I’ve had tables buy me drinks, but they were always much older or knew of Calvin or something else of the sort. It never came from one individual.

He was cute.

And I’m officially a douche.

I didn’t really know what to do. The bartender was kind to me about it. She said that he’d probably be back again. Not like this was a 1-time deal or anything.

Which also terrifies me.

I’m a freak. I’m weird. I’m obsessed with cats, classical saxophone music, and stupid dad-jokes. I’m a Catholic-turned-agnostic who is about as left-winged as they come and very limited experience in the “real world”.

Forget it. I’m just going to do my thing. If people jump on for the ride, they better hold on tight. I’m not slowing down for anyone but myself.

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